Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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