Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
