My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
