Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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