you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
my being single is dangerous.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
