so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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