what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
