Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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