she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
