So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
