Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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