I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He called his prostate his "boner button".
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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