Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
