Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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