she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize