I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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