it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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