Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
