Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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