your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
