my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
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We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
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The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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