So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
