We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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