Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
