ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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