You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
her facebook's as public as her vagina
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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