I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
