My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
