we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
