So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
