Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
