So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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