i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize