lets start a swedish sibling band together
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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