will power is for people who don't want to get laid
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
