At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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