he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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