my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
