So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
