Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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