if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
