nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
