My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
