well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
