Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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