Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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