He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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