Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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