Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
