You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
