that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
