why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
a search helicopter?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I need moral support for this bender
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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