I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
