her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
