I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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