I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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