Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I didn't notice because vodka
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
