He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize