Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
